Facts everywhere today. For those, you can Google the name.

Facts never contained Doris Kappelhoff.

Fact is, on her way to becoming a contender for the most talented performer in the history of Hollywood, one of the few of whom it could be said there’s nothing she can’t do, she was a singer first, with 30 top twenty hits the forties and fifties. Then she was the star of low budget musicals, memorable mostly for her presence. Then she gave serious performances that would stand her in good stead with critics….decades later. Then she made the romantic comedies with Rock Hudson, James Garner, David Niven, and others, that turned her into a box office superstar.

Then, as times changed, the woman who had once refused to get an abortion even though her husband beat her for it turned down the role of Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate because it was “vulgar and offensive.”

Then she did a television show.

Then, having earned back the money Marty Melcher made vanish, she retired.

By then, she had been the leading female box office star seven times (a record that still stands) and the only woman to lead the entire box office four times, a record still unmatched by any she not named Shirley Temple.

That was her career.

In other strictly factual manners, she survived four marriages. Her first husband beat her up while she was pregnant with an only child who would take her third husband’s name and become Terry Melcher, one of the greatest record producers of the generation that tried so hard to obliterate her. (He died at 62, in 2004. Like her, he failed to receive the deserving accolades. Oscar never came calling for her, not even in the Lifetime Achievement category. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame never came calling for him, even in death. Beyond facts, one does wonder about these things.) That third husband managed her money and, by the time he died in the late 60s, made it all disappear.

More facts?

Fact is, modernity kept rejecting her, even as far back as the atypical-to-say-the-least “Que Sera, Sera,” competing with Patti Page’s (also atypical) “How Much Is That Doggie In the Window?” for the signature sound rock ‘n’ roll was born to kill. You can only imagine what the 60s were like for a woman who inspired people to say they knew her before she was a virgin. Once vulgarity and offensiveness had become watchwords for eternal hipness, people certainly called her a lot worse.

And yet…

Time was on her side. You think defining an era is easy? A status that can be handed to you?

Try it some time.

Eventually, there were serious think pieces about her representation of proto-feminism (and that’s not even counting James Wolcott’s post-feminist homage to her shapely butt). Eventually, the calls for that Lifetime Oscar grew louder, though never loud enough to move an Academy which embraces offensive vulgarity like a New Religion. Eventually, her singing got encomiums from rock and rollers and old-timers alike and transformed her vocal reputation into something resembling the female Sinatra.

One day, people will look and listen long enough and hard enough to realize that, whether singing or acting, whether playing it straight or to the side, whether in comedy or drama, whether iconic or intimate, Doris Day was that rarest of all beings: Her own category.

Watch Love Me or Leave Me back-to-back with Pillow Talk some time. You’ll see what I mean.

Listen to the soundtrack of Young Man With a Horn at 3:00 a.m. with the lights off some time.

You’ll hear what I mean.

She always bounced back. I imagine she’ll bounce back from this too.


Just added Greil Marcus’ website to the blogroll in place of James Wolcott’s (which has lost its principal use as a conduit to more interesting blogs by virtue of Vanity Fair making its website virtually impossible for neophytes like me to navigate).

Marcus’ site is a treasure trove…fascinating and virtually endless snapshots of forty-five years worth of pop culture. Enlightening, infuriating, thought-provoking, blood-pressure-raising all the things that make life worthwhile. I’ve been meaning to add it for a while and decided today was the day for it because the latest addition to the site is a “Real Life Rock Top Ten” from May of 1988, where, among other things he recommends House of Schock’s “Middle of Nowhere.”

That I very recently wrote about how much this extremely obscure record meant to me at the time is not even weird.

What’s weird is being convinced for nearly thirty years that you were crazy and finding out you may not have been quite as crazy as you thought.

Never fear. With the help of Gina’s “good smile” I’m coping.



Okay, first the usual:

“It was while overseas that Elvis also met a nymphet named Priscilla Beaulieu, whom he would make the mistake of marrying in 1967 (a mistake because Elvis never wanted to behave as anything but a bachelor).”

James Wolcott (Source: “King of Kings” Vanity Fair, November, 2001)

Then, for comparison’s sake:

“No one had more freedom than Mackenzie Phillips, now 42, sober and acting again. At 13, after running away from her mother’s house, she showed up at her father’s Bel Air mansion, where he was living with his third wife, Genevieve. In step with the latest trends, John Phillips answered the door wearing a floor-length, tie-dyed Indian caftan and a Jesus beard and smoking a joint.

“‘Dad, I’m moving in–could you pay for the taxi?’ Mackenzie remembers saying

“‘Sure kid, come on in.’

“‘What are the rules?’ Mackenzie asked.

“‘Well, let me see,’ he said. After a moment of heavy contemplation, John replied, ‘You have to come home at least once a week. And if you come home from going out the night before and it’s light out, always bring a change of clothing, because a lady is never seen during daylight hours wearing evening clothing.’

“She walked in to say hi to Dad’s friends–Gram Parsons, Keith Richards, Donovan, and Mick Jagger, most of whom she wanted to have sex with. Her little girl’s dream came true, when, at the age of 18, she found herself over at Mick’s place making tuna sandwiches with her father. John left to go get mayonaisse, and ‘Mick turned around and locked the door, and looked at me, and said, “I’ve been waiting to do this since you were ten years old,”’ Mackenzie recalls. ‘My dad is banging on the door, “Mick, be nice to her! Don’t hurt her.” And I’m going, “Dad, leave us alone. It’s fine.” And we slept together.’ The next morning Jagger gave her a beautiful robe and fed her tea, toast and fresh strawberries.”

Evegenia Peretz (Source: “Born to be Wild” Vanity Fair, November, 2001)

Laying aside whether James Wolcott (or anyone) could know how Elvis Presley (or anyone) “never wanted” to behave, I do think it’s kinda’ creepy to say anybody else’s marriage is a “mistake” unless they themselves say it first (which I don’t believe either Elvis or his “nymphet” ever did).

I mean, I wouldn’t even say that about the multiple marriages of John Phillips or Mick Jagger, neither of whom–in keeping with a rather normal, albeit distasteful, standard for celebrity males which Elvis hardly challenged, let alone exceeded–ever gave any convincing impression of wanting to go about “behaving as anything but a bachelor” (at least not until age or infirmity slowed them down).

But then again, I doubt James Wolcott would say such things about Phillips or Jagger either. There’s no way to prove that, of course, but I’ve certainly never seen the slightest bit of evidence that he finds them to be what he clearly considered the un-marriage-worthy Elvis–namely, the wrong sort of people–or that he could continue being published in any periodical as swank as Vanity Fair if he did.

No need to speculate either, about what Elvis himself might have done if he had lived a bit longer and somehow found himself in a situation where Mick Jagger (or anyone) was jumping Lisa Marie’s eighteen-year-old bones on the other side of a locked door, though I’m guessing he wouldn’t have plaintively begged Mick not to hurt her and then doped and raped her and forced a ten-year incestuous affair on her, as Mackenzie would later reveal (or, if you prefer, claim) her own father had done, beginning a year or so after the charming incident related above.

For that you need the right kind of people.

On that cheery note, I’ll leave you with the old Japanese proverb, which is one thing that applies equally to even the crit-illuminati‘s definition of wrong and right sorts of people

“In the beginning the man takes the drugs. In the end, the drugs take the man.”

And proof of how far the fall can be, even for the right sort:

The Mamas and the Papas “Safe In My Garden” (Studio recording with appropriately haunting photo montage…from the moment before the drugs took John Phillips for good)