TO THE LONG, HOT SUMMER AHEAD (Late Night Dedication: 7/2/20)

I think we might be about five cosmic minutes away from the national media discovering that Antifa and Black Lives Matter are secretly funded by the Trump campaign. Meanwhile, no matter what happens, I plan to gas up my BB pistol (yep, it’s one of those) and dance in my underwear where the neighbors can see me.

That oughta keep ’em at bay when they come to burn my record collection. I hope so, because I’d hate for any hooligans to find out one of these things can still take your eye out at twenty paces, just like mama said.

Everybody’s been warned so CRANK IT:

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