CELEBRITY NEWS (Or, What Can a Poor Girl Do?)

Not my usual beat but some things beg for a response:

News Item #1: Mick Jagger’s former long-time squeeze (1976–1999), Jerry Hall, is now engaged to Rupert Murdoch.

Which brings to mind a couple of discerning quotes.

“This is just a white-trash theory, but I think if he married Ann-Margret, he’d still be alive today.” (Dwight Yoakam, concerning Elvis)

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“This is just a white-trash theory, but I think if he stayed with Marianne Faithfull, he’d still be alive today.” (Me, concerning Mick Jagger)

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I’m not one to go around blaming the woman for the demise of some man’s soul. But if, by chance, Jerry did have something to do with the hollowing out of Mick Jagger–in case it wasn’t just Satan (who, come to think of it, would use a Texas girl) or Pod People taking their inspiration from Invasion of the Body Snatchers–then here’s hoping she can do the same for the Murdoch media empire.

If she’s got that kind of power, she owes us one.

NOTE: My sources insist there is absolutely no truth whatsoever to the rumor that Rupe’s initial pick-up line was, “Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste.” The vehemence of their collective denial is, I think, its own affirmation.

News Item #2:

Oscar noms out today. Paul Dano was robbed. Satan never rests.