I was gonna go with hearing “Low Rider” and “Honky Tonk Women” back to back on the radio, which was its own sort of statement and the best radio “up” I’ve heard all year. What could beat that?
Well, nothing could beat it, of course. But something could displace it and that something turned out to be Gerald Ford’s speech at the 1976 Republican Convention and Walter Mondale’s at the 1984 Democratic Convention, played back to back on C-Span.
God help me, I tried to turn away but I couldn’t. Sometimes you forget how sad the past really was until it jumps up out of nowhere and rubs itself in your face. And you’ll never guess what big shared theme was.
Try “Make America Great Again.”
Not in so many words maybe (words were not a highlight of these speeches, though I’m still trying to get my mind around what Mondale meant by “impudent bureaucracy,”**) but unmistakable all the same. And, of course, they both lost, but only because Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan sold the same message better (Reagan did it in those exact words). To listen to these men was to make me fear for my country’s past.
I still say Trump will win and the pod people who replaced the Stones in 1973 will play his inaugural as long as he doesn’t have to pony up more than the cost of the election. There’s no way the cheap bastard will go higher.
And I still say they’ll chicken out on “Honky Tonk Women” and “Brown Sugar” just like they did at the Super Bowl.
Get your bets down now, folks. And remember you heard it here first.
(**My best guess is something like, “They’ve got their hands around your throat? Those scamps. I promise I’ll make them stop!” Whether that’s right or wrong, I was definitely reminded why 1984 was the only election I ever sat out.)